Written by Tarnia Riggs
Founder, All Eyes on Me
A commitment ceremony gives two people a moment to celebrate their relationship and make promises about the life they want to share. It can be a gathering of family and friends or a quiet occasion with just a few loved ones.
The content and style are yours to shape. You might choose something formal and traditional, relaxed and conversational, spiritual or entirely secular. Your ceremony can include favourite songs, poetry, personal stories and meaningful rituals.
Begin with what the commitment means to you both. The ceremony can grow from that conversation.
In this guide, a commitment ceremony means a symbolic celebration of a partnership. It does not, by itself, create a legal marriage.
Australia’s right to marry is not determined by sex or gender. A commitment ceremony is a personal option for couples of any gender. If you want a legal marriage, arrange the required steps with an authorised marriage celebrant; see the Attorney-General’s Department’s guidance.
You might choose a commitment celebration because a symbolic promise suits your beliefs, because you want to celebrate a relationship without marrying, or because you have already completed a legal ceremony separately and want to share your story with loved ones.
Before choosing a venue or writing a script, talk about the feeling you want to create. Would you enjoy a garden gathering, an intimate dinner, a beach celebration or a formal occasion?
Agree on the size, budget and tone. Discuss whether you want religious or spiritual elements, who you would like involved, and what you prefer to keep private.
Choose a celebrant or trusted host who listens carefully and respects your relationship. Ask them to help you shape the ceremony around your wishes, including the names, pronouns and relationship terms you want used.
The welcome greets the couple and guests, explains the purpose of the gathering and sets the tone. It may include a few words about commitment or a short account of your relationship.
You could acknowledge the people who have supported you, welcome children or other family members, and remember someone important who cannot be there. Decide together what feels appropriate; personal stories do not have to become public just because there is a microphone.
Example welcome
“We have come together to celebrate [Name] and [Name], the life they share and the promises they wish to make. Thank you for being here to offer your love, encouragement and support.”
Your vows are the heart of the celebration. They can describe why you have chosen each other and the care you want to bring to your future.
Write promises that feel honest and possible to live by: listening, sharing responsibilities, speaking respectfully, supporting each other’s hopes and making time for your relationship.
You may use the same words, write separate vows or repeat short phrases after the person conducting the ceremony. Agree on a similar length and tone so neither of you feels caught off guard.
A personal commitment vow
“[Name], I choose to share my life with you. I promise to listen with care, speak with honesty and treat you with respect. I will celebrate your happiness, stand beside you in difficult times and support the person you are and the person you continue to become. Today, I make these promises freely and with love.”
A shorter option
“I choose you as my partner. I promise to bring kindness, honesty and care to our life together, to share its responsibilities and joys, and to keep making space for our love.”
A poem, love letter, reading or song can add another voice to the ceremony. Perhaps it is the song from your first dance, a passage that reflects your values or something written especially for the occasion.
A friend or family member may enjoy giving a reading. Give them the wording beforehand, check how names are pronounced and make sure they can be heard comfortably.
You can also read to each other or leave a little quiet space between the vows and the next part of the ceremony. Not every moment needs music or a speech.
For inspiration, explore our Love Quotes & Poems collection.
Exchanging rings is a personal choice. You can explain what the rings represent to you: the promises just spoken, a shared future or a reminder of your relationship.
Example ring wording
“I give you this ring as a reminder of my love and the promises I have made today. May it remind us to care for each other and for the life we are building together.”
You may prefer a meaningful keepsake, a shared reading or another agreed ritual. If you include a practice from a faith or cultural tradition, take time to understand its meaning and discuss its use with someone knowledgeable in that tradition.
You can also have a beautiful ceremony without exchanging an object.
At the close, the celebrant or host can acknowledge the promises you have made and invite everyone to celebrate. For a symbolic commitment ceremony, choose words that describe your commitment clearly.
Example closing words
“Today, [Name] and [Name] have shared their promises with each other and with the people gathered here. We celebrate their love, their commitment and the future they choose to build together.”
A kiss, embrace, joined hands or another gesture can follow if you both want it. Agree beforehand how you wish to be introduced to your guests.
You may choose a commemorative certificate as a keepsake. For this symbolic ceremony, it is not an official marriage certificate.
Think about seating, shade, access to the venue and whether guests will be able to hear the ceremony. Arrange a microphone if needed and choose a backup space for outdoor weather.
Give any readings to the participants in advance. Explain when they will speak and where they should stand or sit. A brief rehearsal can help everyone feel more at ease.
Keep the focus on the promises you want to make and the people you want beside you. Your ceremony can be simple, joyful and deeply meaningful in the form that feels right for you.
Originally published on the original All Eyes on Me website. Recreated and refreshed by Tarnia Riggs in October 2026.
View the original Commitment Ceremony article in the Wayback Machine
References and further reading
Humanists UK is included for ceremony ideas, rather than Australian legal advice. A symbolic commitment ceremony does not itself create a legal marriage; use the Australian government source for marriage requirements. The sample promises are original planning suggestions.